


A thousand stars

by AFailedButterfly



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-09-05 15:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16813348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AFailedButterfly/pseuds/AFailedButterfly
Summary: Dick is determined to make sure that Rachel gets a normal Christmas, or at least as close to normal as possible.





	1. Country roads take me home to the place I belong

Dick was woken up by the sound of a glass shattering to the floor, the sound pierced through the fog of sleep that was clouding his brain. Dick groaned and buried his head deeper into his pillow. He wouldn't have done so in the past; Bruce had raised him to be woken up by any sound and to treat said sound like a potential threat, a shattered glass could mean a burglar. That was what Dick had done for the majority of his life, then Gar and Rachel had entered his life, and now he only associated broken glass with those two. Who could have guessed that raising two teenagers was what had beat Bruce's training out of him? Dick was about to drift back to sleep, another habit he had picked up when he heard another glass shatter to the ground. He felt Kory stir next to him, but she didn't wake up. Dick wanted to stay in bed, but he knew that he had to see what on earth Rachel and Gar were up to, so he placed a gentle kiss on Kory's forehead before untangling himself from the covers. Dick immediately regretted his decision as soon as his feet hit the cold floorboards, their apartment still didn't have any heating. He quickly put on a pair of socks and wrapped his bathrobe around him before padding towards the kitchen, unlike the kids Dick didn't want to wake up everybody who was still sleeping. He froze in surprise as he entered, instead of being met with the guilty faces of Gar and Rachel it was Angela who was standing in the kitchen, twisting her hands nervously.

"Angela. Is everything alright?", Dick asked as the last remaining streaks of tiredness was replaced by concern and a bit of dread.

"Yes, everything is fine"; Angela was quick to assure him "I'm sorry that I woke you up, but I needed to talk to you in private and didn't know how else to do it." Dick couldn't help but smile; she knew him well by now

"It's fine," he assured her and sat down at in one of the many unopened boxes. "What do you want to talk about?" He asked and suppressed a yawn he didn't want her to feel guilty for waking him up. 

"Well, it's December 1: st today". 

_Oh._ Dick had somehow completely missed that December was around the corner. Maybe he had just forgotten it; ever since he got back to Detroit, he had been busy. It had taken months of intense work to clear Kory and Rachel's name, so they weren't wanted by the police anymore, which had included a terrible moment when he had to call Lucius and Barbara and ask them to help him to create an entire existence for Kory. It had been a complete disaster. Lucius had yelled at him for half an hour, and Barbara had just been disappointed. Dick wasn't sure which one had been worse, he had fought back the tears as he explained that Rachel had been wrongfully accused of crimes she hadn't committed and Kory had just been trying to protect her. Dick had carefully left out the fact that Kory was an alien and Rachel had a demon father. Neither Lucius or Barbara had believed him when he said that it was the whole truth, but they helped him because they were good people who liked helping people. Dick had destroyed his phone after the entire ordeal was done, he wasn't ready to face his past. Not yet.

His worries hadn't stopped after that; there were the issues of finding new schools for Rachel and Gar to go to, helping Kory getting a job and finding a new apartment, buying a shitload of furniture and moving into the before mentioned apartment. He had been busy and just forgotten about the impending doom that was December. Or maybe he didn't want to remember because December meant Christmas. This year would mark the second Christmas Dick had without Bruce and Alfred. He remembers the first Christmas he had at the manor vividly. Dick had stolen the keys to his room from Alfred and locked himself into his bedroom, even placing a chair against the door, and he had refused to come out. He had screamed at Alfred to leave him alone when he came knocking on his door to inform him that breakfast was ready.

Dick had stayed in his room all through Christmas, curled up under his blankets and staring blankly at the wall, trying to tune out the voices of Alfred and Bruce as they tried to get him to leave his room, _Please open the door, Master Grayson. Dick come on, you need to eat. I have made you your favorite cookies Master Grayson. Dick open up, or I will kick down the door._ Dick had put on loud music to drown out the sound of their voices. Bruce hadn't kicked down the door. Instead, he came through the window climbing the same tree that Dick had used to run away on his first day. _I don't want to celebrate Christmas without my parents._ The sentence had flown out of him as soon as Bruce had entered the room. _I know_ , _h_ ad been Bruce's answer and then he had held Dick as he sobbed into his guardian's shirt until the tears dried out. Bruce had taken him to his parents grave later that night; it had been a quiet moment a light memory amidst all the dark ones. The Christmas's that came after had been easier. Dick had always dreaded the December 24 because that was when Bruce threw a huge Christmas party for charity. It wasn't that Dick was against charity, but those parties had always been dull for him, especially when Donna and Wally weren't there. They couldn't cause too much trouble, but at least he had some other company than boring adults. Christmas day had been different; it was just him, Alfred and Bruce sitting in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate and exchanging gifts. Then they would maybe begin to watch a movie before they had to deal with the crimes that would inevitably show up. It was those moments that Dick had missed the most as he had spent last years Christmas alone with a bottle of whiskey. 

"Dick?" Angela's voice snapped Dick out of the void that was his memories.   
  
"I had forgotten about December," Dick admitted in a quiet voice. Angela just nodded she seemed to get what he meant to say instead. _I wanted to forget_

"You want to make sure that Rachel gets a normal Christmas. Don't you?" 

"Yes, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I thought that we could invite some friends over, have a nice dinner and then exchange some gifts". A part of Dick didn't want to celebrate Christmas. It was a constant reminder of everybody he had lost or chosen to leave behind so what was there to celebrate? But a bigger part of him wanted nothing more than for Rachel to be able to be a child with a normal life, or as close to normal as she could considering everything. He was prepared to do everything in his power to make sure that she got a childhood she could look back at with fondness instead of bitterness and anger. So did Garfield. Dick didn't want to celebrate Christmas, but he was going to for the sake of the kids that had nestled their way into his heart. If nothing else it would give him an excuse to give Kory that necklace he had bought for no other reason but because it reminded him of her. 

"That sounds like a good idea," he said, "I'll buy hideous sweaters for all of us after work today." 

....

..

Dick kept his promise and came home that evening with five hideous Christmas sweater, including a purple one that he presented to Kory with a teasing smirk. He also brought with him some Christmas decorations to put up around the apartment, and he and Angela presented the idea of a Christmas dinner. Rachel beamed at the suggestion, and it melted Dick's heart into a tiny puddle and convinced him that his decision was the right one, no matter how much the memories may hurt him. H


	2. This is where I belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick invites some people over for Christmas with varying degrees of success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying something new with this chapter, I hope it works.

**Dick:** Jason!!!

**Dick:** Jason!!

**Dick:** Jay **  
**

**Dick:** Jaybird

**Dick:** JASON TODD

**Jason:** WHAT???

**Dick:** Does Bruce still throw those boring Christmas parties on December 24? 

**Jason:** Did you seriously wake me up at the crack ass of dawn to ask me that??

**Dick:** Answer the question!!!

**Dick:** Jason

**Dick:** Jason

**Jason** : Jesus fucking Christ!! What is your damage?? Yes. Yes, he does. Are you happy now???

**Dick:** Do you want to skip that and hang out with us instead?

**Jason:** Yes.

**Jason:** I'll tell Bruce that I'm gonna stay with some friends and then ask them to lie for me

**Dick:** You have any friends?

**Jason:** Fuck you

**Dick:** Would you mind bringing some of Alfred's cookies?

**Jason:** Maybe

**Dick:** Thank you. See you then

**Jason:** See you asshole 

\---

**Dick:** Hey Clay. It's Dick. I hope everything is alright with you...

**Dick:** Would you like to have a Christmas dinner with my family and me? I would like you to meet my girlfriend 

**Dick:** It's okay if you don't want to. I won't blame you if you say no.

**Dick:** Just let me know what you decide. Take care.

\---

**Dick:** We are going to have an X-mas dinner. Do you guys want to come over?

**Hank:** Who are we?

**Dick:** We as in me, Kory, Rachel, Gar, Angela and maybe Clay.

**Dick:** Jason will come over the 24:th so if you want to meet him you are welcome to stay the night. We have room

**Dawn:** That sounds lovely. We'll be there!

**Dawn:** Do you need us to bring bed sheets and pillows?

**Dick:** We have an abundance of bed sheets so that won't be necessary, but yes bring pillows

**Hank:** Hang on!! I will not agree to this until I know for a sure that we will be served something more than carrots

**Dick:** Vegan food doesn't just consist of carrots Hank.

**Dick:** But don't worry. I'll give you some raw meat 

**Donna:** You know I'll be there

**Dawn:** What does Rachel want for Christmas?

**Dick:** Can I get back to you on that?

**Dawn:** Sure

**Donna:** What does Gar want for Christmas?

**Dick:** Read the above

**Hank:** How about Kory

**Donna:** Or Angela?

**Hank:** Shouldn't you be asking US what WE want bird boy?

**Donna:** Firstly; Hank I'm the only one that is allowed to call him that. Secondly; Dick what do YOU want for Christmas?

**Donna:** Dick

**Donna:** Dick answer me

**Hank:** Come on Grayson don't you know that ignoring your guests is rude

**Dawn:** Give him a break guys

**Donna:** Never

**Hank:** Never

**Dick:** I changed my mind. Dawn, you are the only one that I want to come 

**Donna:** HEY! No take backs boy wonder

**Dick:** That's my favorite. 

\--- 

**Dick:** Btw, Dawn, Hank, and Donna will be there

**Jason:** Sweet. 

**Dick:** They want to know what you wish for Christmas

**Jason:** A motorcycle

**Dick:** Okay. What brand?

**Jason:** Bro I was kidding. I mean I want one, but you guys can't give me a motorcycle

**Jason:** Dick?? 

**Jason:** Bruce is going to ask me who gave it to me. I can't claim that it was somebody from the justice league that lie would fall apart as soon as he starts asking and I can't say that it was one of my friends. They don't have that kind of money. 

**Jason:** DICK??

**Dick:** I was on the toilet 

**Jason:** No you weren't

**Dick:** That's true. I was messing with you. It's my new favorite hobby 

**Jason:** I hate you

\---

**Clay:** Of course I would like to come. I am touched that you asked. It means a lot that you want me to meet your family, especially your girlfriend. What's her name?

**Dick:** Kory

**Clay:** Do you love her?

**Dick:** Yes. 

**Clay:** Then I know I'll love her too 

**Dick:** Thank you for saying that and for coming. It means a lot to me. I'll text you the address.

**Clay:** I know where Wayne Manor is Dickie

**Dick:** We are going to be in our apartment

**Clay:** Our is it? You and Kory live together

**Dick:** Yeah 

**Dick:** I mean we also share the apartment with two teenagers named Rachel and Garfield and Rachel's mother, Angela. 

**Dick:** I'll explain when you get here

**Clay:** Okay... 

**Clay:** Well. I'm looking forward to meeting them and Bruce. I always wanted to thank him for taking you in and raising you

**Dick:** Clay. I didn't mention this last time, but Bruce and I are not on speaking terms. We haven't seen each other in two years. 

**Clay:** Why? Is it because he found out about the whole working with Batman thing?

**Dick:** Sort of

**Dick:** It's complicated

**Clay:** I'm sorry

**Dick:** Don't be. Besides you get to meet my girlfriend, two of my closest friends, the woman I call my sister and "my" kids. 

**Clay:** Looking forward to it

\---

**Dick:** Clay will be there

**Dick:** I DO NOT WANT A SINGLE QUESTION ON WHAT HE WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS!

**Dawn:** That's great Dick. Looking forward to meeting him

**Donna:** I'm looking forward to hearing countless embarrassing childhood stories that I can use as blackmail

**Hank:** What she said

**Dick:** I regret everything

\---

**Jason:** I think Alfred knows that we are hanging out in secret. 

**Dick:** What makes you say that?

**Jason:** He keeps mentioning you in front of me saying shit like "it's a shame that you only met master Grayson once and never truly got to know him" and everytime he does he gives me the Alfred look. You know the "I know that you are lying to me."

**Dick:** I know the one.

**Dick:** I'm not even surprised Alfred always finds out the truth.

**Jason:** He's worried about you I can tell.

**Dick:** You can tell him the truth if you want if he ever asks upfront. I trust Alfred to keep it a secret. 

\---

**Jason:** Alfred wants to know if you're ever coming home

**Dick:** I am home


	3. I just want to go home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that Angela betrayed Rachel WILL NOT stop me from continuing to write fluff. That plot point will not be brought up in this fic. Rachel and Gar will show up next chapter, promise

Alfred knew that he and Jason were talking.

_That was fine._

It wasn't like he knew his address or that Jason was coming over

_It was fine_

Alfred could keep a secret

_It was totally fine_

Jason shouldn't have to lie to right to Alfred's face: Few things were worse than Alfred being disappointed in you

_It was 100% fine_

After all, Alfred was the only person he had kept semi in touch with. If you counted texting, **I am alive** and calling once to ask for money to stay in touch. 

_Dick was fine with it really_

The guilt he felt every time he thought about Alfred, and how disappointed he had sounded when Dick called didn't plague his mind at all. Nor did he worry that Alfred would tell Bruce in an attempt to find him and Jason would get in trouble for it.

_It wasn't fine_

But he wasn't going to tell Jason that

....

..

Dick stared in the kitchen and tried to focus on the case he was supposed to solve. He couldn't sleep, the thoughts were swirling too much inside his head. Jason's simple text had brought up a lot of emotions and memories that he had tried to bury. He had a lot of bad memories from childhood, but Alfred was never in any one of them, he was always shining like a lighthouse guiding him from the dark, showing him the way towards happier memories. Like Alfred letting Dick eat sugary cereal on weekends despite Bruce's strong protest and when Bruce was away he was even allowed to sit on the kitchen counter. When Dick had decided to leave Gotham without telling anyone he hadn't planned to write a note until he remembered how worried Alfred had been every time he was gone for what was in his mind too long. So Dick left a note addressed to Alfred and only him, because he had been angry and known that it would hurt Bruce if he did so. Maybe that's why Alfred was disappointed in him. _Or perhaps it's because he knows you let a man die, the fact that you left without a word, you text him three times and only call when you wanted money to abandon Rachel. Alfred is probably even more disappointed than before now that he knows that you stay in touch with Jason of all people and not him._ Sometimes Dick couldn't help but wonder if he had a demon voice inside of himself as Rachel did. 

"Dick it's four in the morning. Why are you awake" Dick looked up from his files and saw Kory standing in the doorway, wearing her usual evening attire of nothing but one of Dick's old t-shirts and underwear. She didn't own any pajamas at all since she found them to be wholly unnecessary when she could steal Dick's clothes. Dick didn't mind it, seeing her in his clothes brought a warm feeling to his chest. It was a thing that normal couples did.

"I could ask you the same thing," Dick said with a teasing smile. Kory raised an eyebrow at his answer and crossed her arms to showcase that she wasn't amused by his response one bit.

"I needed to go to the toilet," she said as a way of explanation. 

"I couldn't sleep," Dick quietly admitted. Kory's expression immediately softened, she knew him well enough now to know that those three words meant something completely different. She closed the distance between them and without any warning placed herself in his lap. Dick felt himself relax under her familiar weight, Kory always seemed to know if he needed comfort or a few moments alone. A part of Dick was scared of how well she knew him because he had been trained well in the art of hiding emotions, spinning lies and building impenetrable walls. Yet this alien princess had burned all of his walls without much effort. It felt thrilling and horrifying at the same time Kory was too good for him and Dick was scared that he would fuck this up as he so often did. Jessica from high school, Wally and Dawn. Three relationships that all ended in disaster and heartbreak because he was a screwup.

"Wanna talk about it?" Kory whispered as she rested her head on his shoulder and Dick automatically started running his fingers through her hair. He didn't want to talk about it at all; he wanted nothing more than to change the subject. But he couldn't because Kory would be hurt and disappointed if he did that. He wasn't sure when he had fallen in love with her, hadn't even realized that it had happened before he had admitted to Clay. It had been such a long time since Dick had been in love, he had almost forgotten what an intoxicating feeling it was. Dick hadn't told Kory yet; he was afraid that she didn't feel the same. What if he told her and everything became awkward between them? They were doing so well, and Dick wanted to keep it that way, he was going to tell her. One day but not now, it was not what she wanted him to say to her at the moment.

"Have I ever told you about Alfred?"

"You've mentioned him in passing once, never really said who he was"

"He is Bruce's butler and the closest thing I ever had to a grandfather. He was always there for me when I was a child, he cared for me and treated me as if I were a part of his family. I could always count on Alfred being there when I needed him; he always took my side and most importantly covered for me. One time when I was around sixteen, a mission had gone bad Donna decided that the best way to cheer me up was to break into the liquor cabinet and get me drunk for the first time. I was upset, so I stupidly agreed, and we stole a bottle of some sort of whiskey. It was disgusting, but we kept on drinking anyway. Now I used to be a lightweight, so I got drunk fast, so Donna had to drag me up to my room, but she was slightly drunk as well. The last thing I remember from that night is Donna dropping the bottle on to an expensive carpet. I woke up the next morning with a bottle of water and aspirin on my bedside table when I went to have breakfast Alfred casually told me that he had replaced the whiskey and gotten the stain out of the carpet. Not after he gave me a proper telling of off course". Kory smiled when he finished his tale and gently reached up to wipe away the tears he didn't realize that he'd shed.

"He sounds like a nice person," Kory said and intertwined their fingers "But what made you think about him? 

"Yesterday Jason texted me and said that he thought that Alfred had figured out that we are hanging out because he gave him cryptic hints and weird looks. So I said that if Alfred ever asked him upfront he could tell him the truth because that man has a sixth sense. Alfred always finds out the truth, and I don't want Jason to live with a lie. So now Alfred knows that Jason and I are hanging out. I thought I was okay with it Kory but I'm not, Alfred is the one I feel most guilt over leaving without a goodbye." Kory wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. Her embrace was tender, warm and soothing. She didn't say anything because no words could make him feel better right now, so she just held him offering her silent comfort. Her embrace kept Dick grounded, it stopped him from walking down the familiar path of bad memories. He buried his nose into Kory's shoulder and breathed in her scent. She smelled like strawberries, a smell he know associated with home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no way I'm getting this finished before Christmas as I had planned


	4. It keeps me turning home

"Are you seriously buying a stuffed animal for Hank?" 

"It's a hawk, Rach. Do you know how long I have been looking for a stuffed hawk for him?". Dick exclaims and clutches the hawk to his chest with a triumphant grin on his face. Rachel rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything more which Dick takes as a sign that she gives the toy her blessing. It's a strange feeling to be out and shopping for Christmas presents again especially for Hank and Dawn. He had never thought that he would have contact with them again but defeating an evil demon had brought them back together and Dick was grateful to have them back in his life. They had been an effective team and good friends once and were well on their way on becoming that again, that's why he wanted to buy the hawk for Hank. A peace offering and a reference to simpler times when Dick used to joke about how Hank was as soft as a stuffed animal under his gruff exterior. Dick hoped he would be humored by the gift and not take offense that a stuffed animal was Dick's first Christmas present to him. They had never been big on giving gifts, and Dick had only spent one Christmas with Dawn and Hank which had included a lot of booze and his first kiss with Wally. 

"What are you going to by for everyone else?" Rachel asked. Dick just shrugged he'd have to deal with one problem at the time. "How about we start with Angela and then work our way through the guest list," he suggested as he paid for the hawk. Rachel nodded, and Dick eyed her suspiciously she usually didn't just go along with his ideas this easily, sure she listened when they were fighting together, but there was often a great deal of debating and arguing. He guessed it was because Rachel had felt Dick's emotional turmoil from the start and knew that he was lying when he said he wanted her to come with him too by presents because he needed her to help him pick out something to Angela. It was partly true, but as Christmas started to come closer, Dick found himself being overwhelmed by memories of past Christmas's. Rachel's presence made him feel grounded and reminded him of why he was doing this instead of gulping down cheap tequila until he passed out drunk. He couldn't do that this year, he was a semi-responsible parent/older brother to two kids with fucked up lives who needed him and Dick had to try his utmost to be there for them even when it hurt. They stopped outside a store that specialized in things that were good for you like skin lotion and good shampoo and other stuff that Dick knew was good for him, but he couldn't bother with buying them for himself. 

"You mother has sensitive skin right? Do you think she would like getting like a kit of different body lotions?"

"Sure"

_Progress_

...

..

Dick treated Rachel with hamburgers for lunch, he usually followed Alfred's belief in healthy food and that you should only eat junk food every once in a while on weekends, but Rachel had tagged along to the mall for his sake, and she had wanted to have a burger. So Dick had bent the rules and thrown in a milkshake for good measure which was probably not the most responsible thing to do, but Rachel had beamed when he had placed the order which made it worth it. They had been successful in their efforts to find gifts with bags loitering the chairs around them, Dick had even bought vintage books for Alfred out of pure instinct and habit, but now he felt stupid. When was he going to give those to him? Would Alfred even want something from him at this point?

"We still haven't found something for Jason," Rachel remarked while sipping her milkshake through the straw

"That's because I don't know what he wants and I bearly know him so I can't be like; oh I know he would like this," Dick complained and took a huge bite of his burger, he hadn't missed eating meat that much. Dick was the only one in the group with basic knowledge of cooking, even if Rachel made great scrambled eggs, so he was in charge of making food, and he was usually too tired to cook two meals, so they had mostly been living on vegan food ever since returning to Detroit. Dick didn't mind at all as he had found many great recipes and cooked some great meals if he said so himself. His phone started to ringing, the beginning of the eye of the tiger echoing through the restaurant, Dick had given all of his team their own ringtones so that he always knew who was calling and could decide if he could ignore it. The eye of the tiger was Gar's ringtone, so he picked up

"Gar?" He asked and was greeted with a massive sneeze in response. _Oh god no._ "Gar do you have a cold?" 

"Maybe," Gar answered and sniffled. Well, that was fantastic, as if this wasn't stressful enough now he had a sick teenager on his hands. Wonderful. 

"Do you have a fever?" he asked while massaging his temples. Rachel looked up from her food at Dick's question with a worried look in her eyes.

"No," Gar said sounding miserable "I have a sore throat, I can't stop sneezing, and my nose is itching."  
  
"Alright. I'll get you some nasal spray, cough drops and some ingredients for soup" Dick said and hung up. "Gar is sick," he said to Rachel. 

"Yeah, I heard that," Rachel and Dick finished their lunch in silence before making their way towards the nearest pharmacy. Dick would have to finish buying gifts some other day.

...

..

  
Gar was sitting on the couch when they came home, he wrapped into at least ten different blankets, and there was a steaming mug with tea placed in front of him. His nose was red, and he looked as miserable as he had sounded on the phone. He still forced a smile when they entered and gave a small wave, Dick handed Rachel the pharmacy bag and moved into the kitchen to start on the soup. He was chopping away on the vegetables when he heard the sound of The Circle of Life coming from the tv, and he couldn't help but smile, the lion king had been the first Disney movie he had seen as a child, and it holds a special place in his heart. Dick was secretly relieved not to hear the opening theme of Game of Thrones; he still didn't think that it was something teenagers should watch there was too much blood. But Kory and Angela were okay with it and when there were four opinions against one he didn't stand much of a chance. The soup was simmering on the stove when he heard a shout from the living room.

"Did they just kill off Mufusa," Gar sounded utterly heartbroken. Oh, they hadn't known, Dick had to bite himself in his cheek to keep himself from laughing he knew that he shouldn't because it was an incredibly mean thing to do, but he couldn't help himself. For some sick reason, Gar's reaction was funny to him because it was so similar to the reaction he had when he was young. Dick poured the soup into a bowl and carefully carried it out on a tray that also had a glass of water and an aspirin just to be on the safe side. Rachel and Gar were sitting wrapped under the blanket and sniffing loudly. Dick wasn't sure if Gar was sniffing because he was sad or because he had a cold, maybe it was a mixture of both. Dick placed the tray in front of Gar

"Eat," Dick said in a voice that left no room for argument before heading to his and Kory's bedroom to start wrapping the presents. "And don't forget to take your aspirin," he shouted over his shoulder and got a sneeze in response. He sighed deeply as he fished out his phone from his pocket there should be a cure for the cold by now, it was a very inconvenient thing to have. 

**Dick:** Gar has a cold

**Kory:** Oh no. Is it bad

**Dick:** He is mostly sneezing and sniffling, and he has a sore throat, but there is no fever yet

**Kory:** Well that's a relief. Do you think he will be well before Christmas

**Dick:** I hope so for his sake. 

**Kory:** Me too.

**Kory:** I have to get back to work. See you tonight.

**Dick:** See you 

"Dick?" 

"Yes, Gar?" Dick said and looked up from his phone 

"Do you want to watch the movie with us?" Dick glanced at the pile of presents that were loitering on the floor; he should wrap them in, but then Gar pouted and looked at him with pleading eyes. It was a tactic that shouldn't work, but somehow it did, and Dick couldn't stop the soft smile that spread across his face. These two honestly had him wrapped around their fingers and to make matters worse, they knew it too. 

"Alright but just one. I need to start wrapping these"  
  
"Just one", Gar promised in the overly exited voice that Dick had become fond of over the past month. He let Gar grab his hand and was practically dragged to the couch; Dick was strong enough to break out of his grip but decided to humor him. Dick was pleased to see that Gar had taken the aspirin and eaten the soup, Alfred had always said that eating properly was the quickest way to recover. It was a theory he doubted he had only made the soup because he knew it was good for Gar's sore throat. Dick couldn't help but be a little bit excited as he sat down on the couch, it had been such a long time since he had watched the lion king. The last time was with Donna, and it was a memory he treasured, he hoped it was as good as he remembered or if it was just rose-colored nostalgia glasses that spoke. That remained to be seen.

...

..

The apartment was quiet when Kory came home which was odd because Dick was always there to greet her with a quick kiss or hug when she came home from work even if it was late. It was something she had gotten so used to at this point yet it surprised her to realize that she missed it. Dick wasn't great at expressing his feelings through words but was always able to showcase it through small gestures like that. Kory hung her jacket on the coat hanger that was going to collapse under the weight of all the jackets at any moment and made her way into the apartment. Dick was sitting on the couch with his arms around Gar and Rachel who were both sleeping soundly with their heads on his chest, and he was resting his head on Rachel's. The credits of some movie were playing in the background. Kory quietly turned off the tv and then went to get the neck pillow, Dick was going to get a crick in his neck if he slept like that all night. Dick didn't even notice her placing the pillow behind his neck he kept sleeping soundly. Kory made sure that they were all tucked in safely beneath the blanket before making her way to the bedroom with a small eye roll. The three people she cared for the most in this world were such dorks, but she wouldn't trade them for anything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to get it done before February.


	5. I know the road is long but where you are is home

"Whassup asshole," Jason shouted so loudly that several people turn around to look at him in confusion. Dick groaned inwardly as he watched Jason jog across the street, sometimes he wondered why he puts up with him. Dick leaned against his van and crossed his arms across his chest while giving Jason his most convincing " I'm not impressed" glare that he practiced in the mirror shortly after Gar and Rachel became a permanent part of his life. Jason didn't even seem to notice it, or maybe he didn't care, both were equally plausible, he just grinned from ear to ear. 

"Sup," he said again. Dick raised an eyebrow at his question and that finally seemed to clue Jason in on the fact that Dick was not impressed or amused by him shouting so loudly that they could hear him ten blocks away.

"Next time I won't pick you up at the bus station. You'll have to take a cab." It's a false threat; Dick felt the same responsibility for Jason as he did for Rachel and Gar. He was technically Dick's little brother that he hadn't asked for, but that didn't mean that he couldn't try to be a responsible older brother and that meant picking him up. Donna had picked him up constantly when she got her drivers license and even though she had insisted it was so she could brag Dick knew that it was to show how much she cared. Dick wanted to be what Donna had been for him to Jason, somebody the kid felt that he could talk to and get advice from when things got dark. Which was a monumental task since Dick had not completely come to terms with his own dark shit yet, but he was making an effort. He only hoped that Jason knew that. He seemed to know that Dick's threat had been fake for he snorted out a laugh and got into the passenger seat. Dick tried to suppress a smile but failed miserably, that kid was going to be the death of him. 

"So how is it going in school?", Dick asked casually as they drove back towards his apartment. 

"Seriously dude?" Jason exclaimed in an incredulous voice "You sound like Alfred."

"How are your grades," Dick continued undeterred while trying to contain his laughter, he wasn't lying when he told Jason that messing with him was his new favorite hobby. Jason seething glare was all the inspiration he needs to continue with his line of questions.

"Any cute girls or boys you like?" To Dicks surprise, Jason's cheeks became slightly red at his question. _Bingo._ "Did you use protection?"

"What the fuck man?" Jason shrieked, and Dick finally burst out into laughter. "Wait. You have been doing this on purpose haven't you", Jason demanded furiously, Dick offered him a grin in response and got a hard punch in the arm in response, a thing that did nothing to sour his mood, he might be having a bit too much fun with this situation. And things were going to be so much worse for Jason once Donna decided to grace them with her appearance and Dick could hardly wait. 

....

..

When Dick came home, his apartment had more people than it did when he left it. Dawn was talking and drinking a beer with Kory and Angela in the kitchen, and Hank was playing Mario Kart with Gar and Rachel.

"I bet five bucks that Hank is going to lose," Jason whispered

"I'm not going to bet against you. I know he will lose". Dick whispered back; Gar was the uncrowned master of Mario Kart nobody beat him 

"I heard that," Hank yelled without taking his eyes off the screen, he was in the last place while Rachel was furiously trying to get from second place to first. Dick and Jason entered the kitchen, Dawn smiled gently at them and hugged them both while Kory settled on giving Jason a high five and Angela simply shook his hand. Kory threw Dick a beer with he caught with ease, Jason tried to snatch it away from him, but Dick slapped his hands away and glared at him. He was not going to allow or condone underage drinking in his apartment; he wondered why Bruce hadn't made more of an effort to get Jason to drink less. Or maybe this was normal for kids nowadays, and he was getting old. Dick didn't like that thought so he settled on the fact that he was a detective and allowing a minor to drink would be against the law. Jason opened his mouth to protest but Dick was backed up in his glare by Kory, Angela, and Dawn, a fate he didn't wish on even his worst enemy. It did shut Jason up, and that was all that mattered. Gar let out a victory yell from the living room, and Dick heard Hank grumble something about cheating. 

"Not so cocky now are we," Kory said in a sing-song voice, and Dawn's lips curled up into an amused smile around the beer bottle. Dick looked at Kory; her eyes were glittering with laughter which made it look like she was glowing in the soft light from the kitchen. Kory always looked beautiful, but when she was smiling, she shone as brightly as the sun and took his breath away. Kory met Dick's gaze, and her smile softened into something he could swear looked like fondness. Did she feel the same way about him as he did? Or was he imagining things?

....

..

Dinner was its usual chaos. It was so different from the meals Dick used to have with Bruce and Alfred; they were usually very calm and quiet with Dick avoiding their constant questions about school. Even when members of the justice league had visited everything had been very civilized, but ever since Dick and his team had finally found permanent housing and thus had been able to stop running and relax things had changed. There was a lot more laughing, teasing and the volume was considerably higher than it was necessary, but Dick never commented on that because it made him feel so warm inside. Tonight was extra crazy thanks to his guests; Dawn was teaching Rachel how to arm wrestle, Hank and Kory seemed to have a very heated discussion, and he and Donna were engaged in a silent competition of who could throw more vegetables at the other.  
Meanwhile, Gar was talking nonstop to Jason and Anglea, the former looked mildly confused, and the latter was patiently smiling like she always did when Gar talked too much. Dick was certain that she was the only one that still bothered to listen to what he said at this point. Dick smiled and flicked a carrot into Donna's face; he was used to chaos surrounding him and being a part of his life, but it had never been so soothing and calming before. 

Later the guests moved to the couch while Dick started doing the dishes and Kory dried the plates. They didn't talk much but performed the simple task in almost perfect synchronization without making any effort to do so brought out of habit. 

"What were you and Hank arguing about," Dick asked as he dried his hands. "It looked like a heated conversation."

"Were you watching me," Kory said with a teasing smirk on her lips as she leaned against the kitchen counter. 

"Always," he said as he walked up into her personal space and placed his hands on her hips.

"We were discussing your new suit; he said that it was ridiculously tight and I said that that was a good thing because that showed off your great ass," Kory said and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Then Hank dared to claim that your ass wasn't that great and I just had to defend your honor." Dick laughed and leaned forward to kiss her, god he loved her. 

"We should go back before Donna yells something inappropriate," she said. Dick wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and they walked towards the living room together. 

Neither of them noticed the dark shape that was watching them through the window.

....

..

"Did you have a good time," Dick asked as he waited with Jason at the bus stop

"Yeah," Jason answered in a voice that sounded oddly sincere for him. "But maybe I'll change my mind when I see what you got me for Christmas." This time it was Dick who punched Jason hard in the shoulder, Jason laughed and rubbed his shoulder in mock offense. They had come so far from when they had first met each other, defeating demons seemed to be the key to bringing people together. Who knew? Dick saw the headlights of the bus come closer and pulled Jason into a big hug. 

"Take care of yourself alright," Dick said before he let him go. 

"Ay ay captain," Jason gave a mock salute before he entered the bus that would take him back to Gotham. Dick stayed in his place and stared after the bus until it disappeared around the corner. If he had looked up at the rooftops, he would have noticed the same dark shape that had watched him through his window and immeditetly recognized the dark cape that he grew up around. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more chapters to go. I can do this before February comes and I become sick of writing the word Christmas


	6. Driving home for Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter!

Dick couldn't sleep. It was five in the morning, a time he had once been used to but now it felt alien to him, it was too early to get up. Dick wanted to all asleep again but he couldn't there were too many thoughts fighting for space in his head, so the only thing he did was staring blankly at the ceiling. It was December 25, Christmas morning and Dick was filled with nothing but dread. There were so many things that could go wrong today, dinner could turn out to be a disaster Dick was used to cooking vegan food so that wouldn't be a problem, but he had never done a turkey in his life before. That had always been Alfred's job, and he had refused to let Dick help with anything but the stuffing, Dick couldn't even remember what had possessed him to agree to make a turkey. Then there were the presents, maybe Hank would be angry at Dick for buying him a stuffed toy, but the gift he was most concerned about was Kory's. What if she didn't like it?   
Or what if she saw it for exactly what it was? A blatant sign of his affection and immediately dumped him because he was moving to fast. His fears over the presents inevitably made him think about Alfred; Dick had discreetly shoved the books he had bought for him into Jason's bag before he left a move that had felt so incredibly stupid the moment he had arrived home after dropping Jason off. There was no way Alfred wouldn't be angered by Dick suddenly giving him a gift after all the shit Dick had pulled stating with him vanishing without a word and ending somewhere between never calling him and meeting Jason in secret. Dick sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes; it was clear that he wouldn't fall asleep again so he might as well get up and get started with the turkey. Dick put on the ugly sweater he had bought for himself; it was red with snowflakes and a smiling Rudolf the rednosed reindeer, before quietly leaving the bedroom. He was met with the smell of coffee as soon as he entered the hallway which surprised him. Who else was up before dawn?   
Dick entered the kitchen and was met with the image of Donna, wearing the same freaking jumper as him and a Santa hat, while sitting on the kitchen table and sipping coffee. Dick smiled softly; he wasn't surprised that she was there waiting for him. Donna was his sister and best friend, and she knew him better than anybody did, she had probably figured out that he would have a lot on his mind this day before he did. Donna pointed at the counter where a steaming cup of coffee waited for him before patting firmly on the table. _Sit._ Dick grabbed the cup from the counter and sat down on the table next to her. He took a sip and raised his eyebrows to the unmistakable taste of brandy, Donna simply smirked at him. Dick knew he shouldn't drink alcohol this early in the morning, but there was nobody there to see it, but Donna and she wouldn't tell. Besides Dick knew his sister, she hadn't put so much in that he would get slightly tipsy. Not when the kids were around, so Dick shrugged and took another sip. It was surprisingly warming.

"Thank you," he said softly

"Penny for your thoughts" Donna answered and gently nudged his shoulder 

"I don't have that much money," Dick tried to joke, it predictably flat but Donna's lips curled upwards anyways. Dick took another gulp of coffee before leaning against Donna's shoulder and spilling all of the fears that had kept him awake. He wouldn't have done it so quickly a year ago, Donna would always complain about how she had to drag answers out of him, but Dick had slowly learned that sharing one's emotions and feelings was an effective way to feel better. Who knew? _Probably most people._ Donna was quiet for a while after Dick had finished talking as if she was pondering what to say.

"Okay, three things"; Donna said and held up three fingers to demonstrate "One, buying a stuffed hawk is hilarious and if he doesn't appreciate it I'll kick his ass. Two; if you don't see that Kory is in love with you too then you're an even bigger idiot than I thought and I think you are a massive idiot. Three: I don't think you are giving Alfred enough credit here. The gift shows that you still care, and while he might not be ecstatic about how you delivered it, he is just going to be happy that you are alive."

"You think so?", Dick asked feeling very small and vulnerable.   
  
"I know so, and I'm always right."  
  
"Because your older, smarter and prettier than me," Dick repeated the mantra with ease, Donna had made him feel a bit better like she had always done. Dick didn't know what he would have become without Donna in his life. More messed up than he already was. They sat there in silence for a while; they didn't need to talk to enjoy each other's company until Dick suddenly remembered part two of her list. "Wait. Do you honestly think Kory is in love with me too?"   
  
"What are you five?" Donna asked in an incredulous voice and rudely showed him off the table ignoring his yelp as he hit the floor. "Now the turkey is going to be a problem that's not so easy to solve" Dick scowled at her suddenly changing the subject but Donna merely winked at him all the sympathy vanished in the blink of an eye. "Maybe we can skip the turkey."

"Or you could ask for help" Dawn and Hank had somehow been able to find sweaters that both had prints of stockings hanging over a fireplace, although Hank's sweater also included a garland and he was looking a bit too smug at the sight of Dick on the floor. Dawn was kinder as she always was, she grabbed Dick's hand and hauled him to his feet and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"What are you two doing up," Dick asked as he gave Dawn a grateful smile before glaring at Donna, he was going to get his revenge on her for pushing him and he had the whole day to figure out how.

"We figured you would be awake bird boy so we thought we should keep you company to take your mind off things." 

"Hey, I'm the only one who gets to call him that Hank."  
  
"I don't care, Donna," Hank and Donna started entering one of their infamous bickering contests while Dick stood frozen in the kitchen still trying to process what Hank said. When he had first met the duo, Dick had already started his unhealthy habit of building walls to prevent people from getting close to him, running away when things between Dawn and him started to go from simply having fun to maybe something serious. Not to mention the whole mess with the nuclear family and despite all of that they still had woken up in the morning to be there for him. Dick was almost overwhelmed by the gratitude he was feeling for the only friends he had left.

"You are not alone Dick," Dawn placed a gentle hand on his arm while smiling at Donna and Hank's antics. Dick had heard those words many times, but it was only recently that he had started believing it.

...

..

Clay arrived after lunch when Dick was trying to bake cookies while simultaneously trying to stop Rachel and Gar from eating all of the dough. 

"Dickie," Clay exclaimed and hoisted him up in the air in another one of his bone-crushing hugs. Dick savored the hug a bit before telling Clay that he couldn't breathe, he had always felt safe with Clay as a child, and that hadn't changed even after so many years apart, it was one of many things he missed from his circus days. Not even Hank mouthing _Dickie_ with a gleeful grin could ruin the moment for him or lessen the warmth he was feeling in his chest.

"It's good to see you, Clay," Dick said feeling genuinely happy instead of overwhelmed with emotions for the first time the entire day.   
  
"Are these people allowing you to cook?" Clay exclaimed with a dangerously teasing glint in his eyes that couldn't mean anything but trouble. "I don't know if I approve of you spending time with people willingly put you in harm's way, especially considering your talent for setting yourself on fire everytime you are in a kitchen." To Dick's horror, Donna's eyes lit up in joy, and a huge smile spread across her face.

"Oh I like you," she exclaimed. "I'm Dick's sister Donna, and you have to tell me the full version of that story."  
  
"No he doesn't," Dick sputtered out. His kitchen mishaps as a child were the last thing Donna should have as ammunition against him, but Clay's jovial manner seemed to have put everyone at ease so now Rachel and Gar had vanished from his side and were trying to coax the story out of him. Nobody seemed interested in saving him from the situation, not even Dawn who didn't have a mean bone in her body seemed to want to embarrass him.

"Kids let Mr. Williams breathe. He has just arrived and is probably tired from the trip"; Angela scolded which instantly made her Dick's favorite person in the room. Gar and Rachel quickly apologized with disappointed looks on their faces. Kory took the momentary respite as a chance to introduce herself.

"I'm Kory Anders, Dick's girlfriend and don't you worry Mr. WIlliams I keep him safe from fires although not from any fire-related stories that you might share later."  
  
"Et Tu Kory"; Dick exclaimed while dramatically clutching his chest: "I'm wounded."  
  
"My teacher said that Ceaser didn't say that"; Gar helpfully chimed in

"Don't get sassy with me young man. Do you want to get grounded?"

....

.. 

**Jason:** I can't believe that you got me a leather jacket

**Dick** Merry Christmas ya filthy animal

**Jason:** Are you seriously quoting Home Alone 2 instead of Die Hard??

**Dick:** You shouldn't be watching Die Hard 

**Jason:** Thank you so much, dude.

**Dick:** You are welcome brat

"It's not nice to call somebody a brat Dickie," Clay chastised from behind him, Dick briefly pondered on pretending to be startled like a normal person would have been but decided against it, Clay knew that he used to be Robin.

"It's not nice to read people's conversations either"; he said. 

"Dickie," Clay's voice and facial expression all expressed concern, but Dick didn't know why. Nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

"Clay relax. Jason is Bruce's second attempt at raising a child, so he is the little brother I never wanted but got stuck with. He knows that my teasing comes from a place of reluctant affection. Now let's get those cookies out from the oven before the kids eat everything." Dick put his arm around Clay's shoulder and guided him out to the kitchen, but he didn't miss that the worried look hadn't disappeared. 

...

..

"So little Dicke wanted to be helpful, so Mr. Haly decided to put him in charge of keeping an eye on the soup so it wouldn't boil over. It wasn't a difficult task, but Dick somehow managed to burn the soup to the bottom of the saucepan, so the chef threw him out. The year after he was allowed back into the kitchen and was asked to fry the vegetables, not only did he burn the vegetables but he managed to set his shirt on fire. The next year it was decided that he was going to perform a simple task, taking the gratin out of the oven but that only ended setting fire to the gloves", Everybody burst out laughing as Clay finished his tale, Donna was wheezing with laughter as tears fell down her face, and even Angela was snickering. _Traitor._ The dinner had started unusually quiet and pleasant, almost as if everyone had decided to behave in front of Clay, a touching yet unnecessary gesture. They had both been part of a circus; things didn't get much more chaotic than that. Clay's natural charisma and good-hearted nature had brought everybody back to their usual behavior. 

"You have improved a lot since then; this is delicious" Clay suddenly looked a bit forlorn and sad, it was the second time that day that Dick became confused by some of his reactions. Donna seemed to have noticed it because she put her knife down.

"Guys let's open the presents." 

"YES"; Gar bolted from the table but returned to help clear the table after Kory loudly cleared her throat. Clay's smile had returned, and Dick decided to let the issue go for now and ask him about it later.

After the tables were cleared, they had ended up on the floor in front of the small tree that Dick had bought. Everyone had wrapped blankets around themselves except for DIck, he was leaning against Kory and didn't need to keep himself warm. Opening the gifts went rather smoothly, Hank laughed when he opened the stuffed hawk to Dick's great relief, and Gar squealed with joy when he got his new x-box. However, it was Dick who got the best present that night, and it came from Gar and Rachel, it was a simple thing, a medal and a coffee cup that both had the words **the world's best hugger** printed on them but it made him tear up. One morning Gar had told him that Dick was the best hugger in the world, and Rachel had agreed. Dick had jokingly told them that they'd better get him some proof on that, but he hadn't expected them to do it let alone remember his remark. Then it was Kory's turn to open Dick's present to her; he gulped nervously this was the moment of truth. Kory's eyes widened as she opened the box and took out the necklace, it was nothing grandiose. Just a silver chain with a heart pendant that had a sun and a bird engraved into it, Dick had bought it on a whim, but now it only felt cliche. 

"I have the receipt," Dick murmured nervously "If you don't like it you can change it, that's okay. I mean.." Dick didn't finish his sentence before Kory shut him up with a kiss. It was sweet and tender and melted all of the worries and anxieties that he had had over the gift away. 

"Thank you. I love it", she said 

"I love you" the words fell out of Dick's mouth before he could stop them, but he didn't regret saying them. He wanted her to know it and didn't care if Kory didn't say it back anymore because he was done being afraid it was tiring. Kory's face lit up in a dazzling smile to his great relief.

"I love you too"; she whispered and gave him another kiss, this one was different it was a deep, passionate kiss that promised more when the apartment wasn't filled with people.   
  
"Gross," Dick could bearly hear Gar's whisper and Angela shushing him, he could only look at Kory as he gently brushed her cheek. There was a warm feeling in his chest, and he couldn't stop smiling because Kory loved him back. She had said it and meant it, and Dick couldn't quite grasp that it had happened. The last time he had said "I love you" and had somebody say it back had been with Wally and that had been so many years ago, he had been younger and less of a broken mess that was slowly healing and didn't yet have a track record of screwing everything up. Dick hadn't thought he would ever say I love you to anybody again after they broke up, had been actively avoiding it up until this point because it meant letting somebody into his life. But Kory made him feel safe and spending time with her gave him joy he couldn't explain, so it felt okay to put his guard down and let himself be vulnerable around her. Because Kory was worth it, she was worth putting a lot of effort in being a good boyfriend and genuinely commit to a relationship. Dick wasn't going to screw this up; he would make it work because it was a good thing and he was finally starting to believe that he deserved good things in his life. Dick laced his fingers trough Kory's and leaned against her before sheepishly smiling at the audience that he had forgotten about. They were all smiling but Donna's smile was brighter than all of them, and there was a proud gleam in her eyes that finally convinced Dick to drop the revenge plans that he had been playing with for hours. It was her who had given him the courage to say it after all.

....

.. 

Bruce was perched on the rooftop of a moderately tall building staring intently through the window of the apartment right across. He knew that he shouldn't, was fully aware that if Dick would glance up, he would instantly spot him and probably would be righteously angry with Bruce for spying on him. Bruce shouldn't even have come back a second time, but he couldn't manage to leave even if staying was risky. He hadn't been this close to or even seen his oldest son in such a long time that seeing him again almost felt unreal. Bruce had imagined seeing Dick again on several occasion but stalking him from rooftops while Dick didn't know or suspect that he was there hadn't exactly been his dream scenario. Bruce wanted to apologize, wanted to make amends but he wasn't good, and either of those things and he feared that it might be too late since he had made every mistake possible since Dick left him and before he left as well.  
Bruce remembered the days leading up to Dick leaving, he had been quiet and kept mostly to himself. Bruce had known that something wasn't right, he should have been there for his son and asked what was going on, but he hadn't Bruce had decided to let Dick figure it out for himself, and that had led to the night before where Dick had claimed that he was feeling sick. Bruce had suspected that he hadn't been entirely honest, but he had gone on patrol and the morning after Alfred had come rushing out from Dick's room with tears in his eyes and a note in his hand. A note that had been addressed to Alfred and only Alfred, Bruce hadn't been mentioned once and that had hurt him more than it should have. Bruce should have followed him immediately, especially after Dick refused to pick up his phone but he had decided to let Dick figure out things on his own, then the blue spot had stopped moving it stayed in Detroit and Bruce had finally realized that Dick wasn't coming back. Bruce had been through a lot of trauma in his life, but he had never felt so much as a failure. Dick had been a light in his life, and he had tried very hard to be a good mentor and father, but ultimately he had failed. Instead of helping Dick to channel his anger and grief he had let his darkness engulf the child he had promised to protect. His absence had left a void in Bruce's life, but he had been too ashamed of his failings to track Dick down and try to apologize.

The shame had only hurt him more than before in the end because it had ended with Dick cutting the tracker out of his arm, severing Bruce's only way to ensure that he was alive and safe. Not soon after Jason had vanished for several days, coming back bruised and had blankly refused to explain where he had been but had revealed it when Bruce saw him use one of Dick's signature moves that he hadn't known how to do before. A few days Lucius and Barbara had informed him that Dick had called and asked for help in creating new identities but that the phone he called from wasn't trackable any more and just like that everything had gone back to how it had been since the day Dick left. Except now Bruce would often worry that Dick would die one day and he would never find out. It was only by pure coincidence that Bruce had been managed to locate Dicks apartment if he hadn't checked Jason's tracker and discovered that he was in Detroit instead of Gotham Bruce would still be in the dark.   
A part of him was angry with Jason for keeping the fact that he and Dick got along great a secret. Bruce didn't know how long they had been meeting without his knowledge but clearly long enough so that Dick trusted Jason with his address, hugged him and gave him leather jackets for Christmas, something Jason claimed was from the friends he hadn't visited. How had he come to the point where his youngest son was continually lying, and his oldest was not only actively avoiding him but had seemingly started a brand new family where Bruce only recognized Donna, Hank Hall, and Dawn Granger?  
Bruce wished that he could meet the rest of the people that made Dick smile brighter than he had for a long time; the tall man that seemed familiar, the seemingly calm blonde woman. The two kids that were currently fighting for room on Dick's lap and especially Dick's girlfriend. From what Bruce had seen from their interactions, the small touches, hugs, and kisses at any given opportunity, they seemed to be stable if not in love. It should make Bruce happy that Dick had found love again, but he was only sad that he would most likely never meet her or even learn her name. 

Bruce should leave, the longer he lingered, the more he hurt himself. He had to accept the fact that Dick had created a new life without him no matter how difficult it was to let go. Bruce was about to get up from his crouch when he noticed the mood had changed in the living room. Nobody was talking anymore, and both Dick and Donna had stiffened. _Danger._ Bruce clenched his fists if it were an enemy he would come crashing through the window and deal with the consequences later, Dick wasn't wearing a suit and had his guard down and might need him. But nothing happened except for the blonde woman entering with somebody behind her, a person Bruce would recognize anywhere from any distance. 

"Alfred?"

Dick and Donna's sweater:

Dawn's sweater:

Hank's sweater:

Kory's sweater:

Angela's sweater:

Gar's sweater:

Rachel's sweater:

Clay's sweater:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being consistent with the length of my chapters??? What is that? No, but seriously, I am sorry about the length of this chapter.


	7. All I want to do is come running home to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter!! Note to self: Never write a fic that takes place over Christmas ever again.

"Hey, are you okay?" Clay looked up as Dick leaned against the armrest of his couch, he had been wearing that oddly forlorn expression on his face again, and Dick had finally decided to figure out what was wrong. The other's were all busy doing their own business allowing them to have a private moment. Dick was one hundred percent certain that it wasn't coincidental and the person behind it was either a mighty Amazon warrior or an alien princess that could turn people into a flaming crisp. 

"Yeah, I'm fine Dickie" The obvious lie only hurt Dick a smidge, since when was Clay the one who didn't share emotions? That was his thing; Dick nudged Clay gently which was about as comfortable as punching a mountain, that mans muscles were made of steel.

"You can't-fool me, Clay, you say that you're fine, but your face and eyes tell me otherwise."

"I used to be able to fool you" Clay snapped. Dick was surprised by the outburst Clay had always been very patient when Dick was a child almost never losing his temper. It felt so surreal to hear anger coming from him that Dick was taken aback for a few seconds. He knew that people changed a lot over the years, he was a shining example of it, perhaps it had been naive of Dick to believe that everything would be like it used to be with Clay.

"You didn't flinch," Clay said. "I snapped at you, and you didn't react, and you weren't scared when I snuck up on you earlier today ." Dick felt even more confused than he had before. Why was that a problem and what did it had to do with anything?

"No. You know I used to be Robin. I would have died hundreds of times if I startled everytime somebody raised their voice or snuck up on me" Dick answered slowly trying to wrap his head around the whole situation. "Clay I don't understand what this has to do with you not being okay."

"It has everything to do with it, Dickie. I should have kept in touch after the funeral; if I had, I wouldn't have missed you going from a kid who always started fires whenever he entered a kitchen to a grown man that's an excellent chef. I can't stop thinking about everything I've missed when it would have been so easy for me to call to check up on you. If I had done that maybe I could have prevented the whole you being Robin thing from happening, it has messed you up." Dick didn't know what to say, didn't know how to begin to unravel the things Clay had said to him. He wanted to make Clay feel better, wanted to tell him that no amount of phone calls would have stopped him from becoming Robin, but there was no way he could see that he could without telling Clay who Batman was. Dick might have mixed feelings about Bruce, but he wasn't a snitch and would never be one, but he couldn't let Clay blame himself for something out of his control.

"Look. I don't think you could have prevented me from meeting Batman; it happened shortly after the funeral back when I was angry at the broken world and jumped at the chance to try to fix it. Nothing could have stopped that decision not even you, and I don't regret that I chose that life. My only regret is that I didn't walk away from it sooner before it messed me up as you put it" Dick couldn't tell if what he had said made Clay feel better his face was very blank and it had gone to many years for Dick to be able to decipher what Clay was feeling. Maybe he would be able to do so again in the future

"I still should have called," Clay said quietly "And don't say the phone works both ways because if you do, I'll wack you in the head." Dick let out a breath of laughter that sounded more like the Clay he remembered from a childhood far gone that would never come back, they could never go back to how things used to be, but perhaps it was possible to start something brand new. Dick had begun to be fond of starting anew. The quiet was interrupted by the doorbell buzzing; it was an old thing that made a sound that was made the thought of somebody drilling right next to one's ear seem appealing in comparison. Dick had been meaning to switch it out but hadn't had time to get around to doing it, but it was going to be the first thing he did after the holidays were over. Angela got off the ground and went to open the door; Dick wondered who it could be at this late hour on Christmas Eve. Maybe it was old Mrs. Croft that lived next to them. She loved Rachel and Gar and would often bake them cookies or give them leftovers that were a lifesaver when Dick was exhausted. Mrs. Croft made the entire ordeal of finding a place big enough for five people plus possible guests worth it; she was like the grandmother none of them had had. Angela reentered the room with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

"Dick this gentleman sais that he knows you." Time seemed to freeze when Dick recognized the person that had entered with Angela; he felt his entire body stiffen as he stared in disbelief. It couldn't be. Dick blinked several times to make sure that his mind wasn't playing games with him but every time he opened inside the person remained 

"Alfred?", his voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper. "What.. how... why?" Dick wasn't able to say a single intelligible sentence; everything was happening to fast. What was Alfred doing in his living room? Something terrible must have happened, somebody was injured or dead. That had to be it, why else would Alfred be standing in front of him? Dick was vaguely aware of a small hand taking his. She was saying his name. Rachel. Dick wanted to answer her, but he couldn't choke the words out. He felt paralyzed and didn't know what to do. He wanted to make sure that everyone back in Gotham was alright, he wanted to scream, cry and hug Alfred but he didn't do any of it. Dick could only stand and stare. Alfred was staring back, his calm facade was cracked, and instead, he displayed a ray of emotions on his face. Disbelief, uncertainty, joy and even hint of sadness. Dick felt as if a massive boulder was sitting on his chest. It was too much to handle, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than for Alfred to leave. The atmosphere in the room was tense; everyone seemed to be holding their breaths waiting for something to explode. The silence stretched out for several painful seconds before Alfred suddenly crossed the distance between them and pulled Dick into a hug. Dick tensed for a few seconds before cracking into a million pieces and falling into the embrace. Every emotion that Dick had bottled up since the minute he left Gotham came crashing down, regret, shame, and anger all crashing down on him like a ton of bricks.   
  
"I'm sorry," he gasped as the tears started to fall from his face. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"It's okay. I've got you. I've got you"; Alfred whispered as Dick sobbed into his arms.

...

..

"So what are you doing here Alfred?", Dick was seated on Kory's lap, a mortifying thing to do in front of Alfred, with everyone else gathered around him. Donna and Clay were both sitting next to him while leaning against his shoulders. Hank, Dawn, and Angela were leaning against his legs while Rachel and Gar had somehow both managed to find place in his lap. It felt like being wrapped in a warm blanket. They had all refused to leave when Alfred had asked if they could have a minute alone, Rachel had said that it was their time to take care of him and that meant not leaving him alone. Dick was too mentally exhausted to point out that he was supposed to take care of her not the other way around, but that could be saved for later. It felt nice to have them with him; it made Dick feel safe and protected in a way he hadn't felt for a long time. 

"I got your present sir," Dick winced at his words and gulped the tea Angela had made for him. Alfred had tried to offer his services, but she had sent him such a murderous glare and said that she was perfectly able to make tea in such a chilling voice that the famously stubborn butler had wisely not persisted. The tea was still scolding hot and burned Dick's tongue, but he swallowed anyways because he wasn't going to spit tea at Rachel and Gar.

"Alfred I'm sorry. I understand if you're mad..," Alfred lifted a hand and Dick trailed off staring at a fixated point above Alfred's shoulder, he couldn't bring himself to look into Alfred's eyes. 

"Master Grayson I'm not mad." Alfred's said softly. Dick was startled by his words. Why wasn't he mad? He had every right to be mad at him; he should be yelling at Dick instead of hugging him and speaking softly "And I'm not here to yell at you," Alfred added as if he had read his mind, a move so familiar that it ached. 

"Then why are you here," Dick asked again. 

"Master Jason came to see me a few hours ago, to give me your present or as he so eloquently put it; I think this shit belongs to you."  
  
"That's a dollar for the swear jar," the joke was out before Dick could stop it, but it made Alfred smile much to his relief. Dick had lost a lot of money to that damn swear jar back in the days

"Indeed," he said softly before he grew serious again "Master Grayson while I don't know the whole story I understand why you needed to leave, and while a part of me wishes you'd kept in touch and visited on occasion, I have grown to understand those reasons as well. I have never once been angry at you, I have only been sad that you no longer considered Gotham your home. I was also deeply concerned about your safety because you no longer had us to watch your back. But then I demanded that master Jason tell me about his visit, and he told me about the team you've gathered. That's why I'm here. I wanted to meet them and you because I missed you." Dick's eyes teared up for the second time that night. Alfred shouldn't be so kind to him but hearing him say that he wasn't mad was a massive relief. It felt like Alfred had lifted the weight of tons of massive bricks from his shoulders by saying those three words and it eased his guilt a little bit but not entirely. Dick strongly suspected that he would always feel guilty over the way he had treated Alfred and that he had made him so sad. But Dick could start to try making himself worthy of Alfred's forgiveness starting with four words.

"I missed you too." 

"Master Wayne isn't angry at you either," Dick's heart sank in his chest at the mention of Bruce. "He is simply sad and ashamed because he failed you," Dick didn't know if he fully believed that or what he was going to answer he wasn't in the state of mind to deal with thinking about Bruce at the moment.

"I'm Kory by the way," Kory changing the subject without being subtle about it, what had he done to deserve her? "Dick's girlfriend."

"They kiss all the time," Gar whispered in a conspirational voice, "It's gross." Alfred laughed heartily at that, a sound so familiar that Dick smiled on reflex. He was starting to feel okay again and at this point that was probably the best he was going to get.

...

..

Bruce was standing outside Dick's door, trying to knock for the fifth time. He felt stupid standing there in the slightly greasy hallway with his fist lifted in the air. Knocking on a person door should be a simple task, but he didn't seem to be able to bring himself to do it. Bruce hadn't returned to Detroit after he had witnessed Alfred visit and saw the way the reunited because he knew that he knew damn well that Dick wouldn't have the same positive reaction to seeing him. But it had been difficult to try to move on since now both Jason and Alfred had regular contact with Dick. It had soured his mood quite alot, Bruce knew that things between him and Dick were broken and he had little chance to fix it since so many of the cracks were on him. He had thrown himself into work as both Batman and Bruce Wayne for weeks until Alfred had had enough. He had scolded him like a child and told him that nothing was ever accomplished by not trying. Bruce didn't bother asking how Alfred knew that he had been spying on Dick, Alfred always knew, and he was also always right. So Bruce had once again made his way back to Detroit and walked up all the way to the door. All he had to do was to knock, and he would see his oldest son again. What would he even say? He should have prepared something.

"You know nobody is going to open the door if you don't knock, son," Bruce turned and saw an elderly lady unlocking the door next to him. "Just saying," she winked at him before closing the door after her. Bruce had now officially sunk to the level that Dick's neighbor told him the freaking obvious. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Hopefully, one of Dick's friends would open so he could take some time to gather his thoughts. But when the door opened Bruce found himself face to face with Dick for the first time in over two years. He looked different from when Bruce had last seen him. There was a spark of light in his eyes that hadn't been there for a long time and the tiredness that had weighed him down was gone. 

"Hi," Bruce said in lack of anything better to say because he couldn't quite believe that he was seeing Dick

  
"What the..". Dick didn't finish the sentence; his fist was gripping the doorframe as he started at Bruce in shock. Maybe showing up unannounced was a bad idea, but then again whould Dick had opened if he knew that Bruce was coming? That wasn't a thought he wanted to dwell on

"Jason didn't give me your address" Dick didn't have any reaction to the statement his face was blank which was an understandable reaction. Bruce didn't know why he started with that. "I was hoping we could talk." Dick wasn't answering his face was still devoid of any reaction, but there was a uncertainty in his eyes, as if he was complentating wether to slam the door shut or close it softly.

"It's okay if you don't want to. I understand that you are angry with me Richard because I'm angry at myself. I failed you as a mentor and a father. I fully admit that and I should have been more attentive and noticed that the darkness was consuming you and for that, I'm truly sorry", Bruce took a deep breath and looked at Dick who's grip on the doorframe a lightened a bit which he took as a sign that he was allowed to continue. "I don't ask that you forgive me, I know we can't go back to how things were because that's broken now, I only ask that you give me another chance. A chance to be a small part of your life again, to get to know the people you live with and to hear from you once in a while. So I know that you are alive", Dick was silent for a while after Bruce had stopped talking, he should say something more, but Bruce didn't want to push him. The decision was his and only his. The silence seemed to be stretching out for an eternity; Dick had once told him that his father had said that if somebody is not answering your question, you should count down from ten. If you reach ten, you should leave because it's obvious the person is ignoring you or would rather be left alone. It had sounded a bit ridiculous when Dick told him the story, but maybe this time it was worth trying. Bruce took a deep breath and counted.

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

"You are not the only one to blame. I've made a lot of mistakes to", Dick's voice broke through the silence as he gave Bruce a long look before stepping away from the doorframe and gesturing to Bruce to enter. "Let's talk, it's been a while, and there are some people I'd like you to meet ."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for now; maybe I'll write something in the Titans' universe again some day. I want to say a huge thank you to everybody who has read, commented and left kudos on this fic, you are the best and I can't begin to explain how much your kind words have meant.  
> Thank you


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